the mayflower as a grandstand play, center of a cosmic drama

it's hard to escape the feeling i'm important, despite my obvious size in the scope of the universe. and celebrities feed into it. a center of energy needed, said my boss years ago. somebody has to organize the party, or nothing happens. those fan magazines energize the reader, the concert the crowd. look at the series on taylor swift, singer, journey toward fearless. i suppose i don't want to feel alone and need someone to speak my thoughts, certainly young teenagers do. 


i admit i fell into hell with serge gainsbourg, a wonderful movie on the much-adored french singer and scallywag. yes, i did find it hard to sympathize with the drunk at the end, on the other hand he bedded brigit bardot! what greater role-model can an aging man have? julliete greco, jane birkin, the guy never seemed to stop. skip the concert crowds. they're too greedy and demanding. let's get down to the basics. as serge says, i never had any complaints about my horizontal activity. 


what has all this got to do with the good ship mayflower (could a name have ever been more significant)? those on board felt themselves caught up in a universal struggle between good and evil, as did those randy rabble who defeated the british to set up their own house. the treatment of native-americans becomes more understandable, if not more acceptable. they were getting in the way of god,  his industrialists and settlers. 


the battle between good and evil is within myself, of course, yet what a pleasure to project it onto the world. what a relief to not carry that burden all alone. and every time an actor on the screen or stage overcomes great obstacles, or babe ruth hits a home run, i feel i have too. and when taylor and serge do a duet across time, i experience the exhilaration given to the Argonauts. sail away, sail away, goes the refrain of  our true national anthem. and who can blame me if i believe i've reached the promised land - once in awhile? 


here's a few drawings called returning to the garden. and maybe now you might understand what i mean:


http://www.pbase.com/wwp/returning

i have the cure for the american economy!

hopefully that got your attention. of course, it sounds like a set-up for a joke. alas,  i'm most serious when i appear ridiculous. this the result of being a natural-born clown hiding behind a conventional disguise. this isn't really about me, though everything i say is. what i think comes from personal experience. as a thinker, i'm a washout. 


okay, i've teased you enough. what is my answer? in concept it's so simple as to appear brainless, given the political and financial realities. here it is. are you ready?  it's a two-step process, best activated together. first, universal, free wi-fi blanketing the country, including alaska, hawaii, and puerto rico. access for everyone. with cheap tablets and laptops spreading like wild-fire, everyone could take advantage of this service. you wouldn't even need to be at your local coffee-shop, though that's always desirable for what i have in mind.


ah, you say, that just means the air filled with nonsense. too true, too true. still, it's atoms bouncing off one another that heat up your soup. the second stage as important as the first, open-source technology. android would be an example. anyone can play with it. and here's my ultimate reason for proposing it. every american is an inventor. why? because in these united states, i have to create my own identity, and this was true of our ancestors as it is today.


how many of us have names changed by our immigrant grand-parents? my own grandfather left canada to escape some shady dealings (though i've never discovered what they were). he re-invented his life as a salesman and walnut-wrangler several times, shooting raccoons climbing over the fence to steal his peaches. supposedly, my father patented a type of automatic-transmission for autos. damn, maybe i'm rich and don't know it.


wasn't it einstein who said, when something seems original, you just don't know the source? and who was it said, bad writers copy, great writers steal? i remember reading an enlightening essay on the downside of creativity copyrights, the thesis being, this limits cross-pollination. shakespeare stole everyone of his plots and certainly hundreds of lines from his fellow playwrights. today, he'd be sued a thousand times over and writing mein kampf in prison.


unleash the tigers of american inventiveness. free access and communication the way to go. ben franklin didn't fly his kite for just fun, nor did the pop-top beer-can appear out of nowhere. my fellow-countrymen can invent their way out of a paper bag, not to mention this economic mess. onward and upward, i say, or as the motto on the pease coat of arms reads, sic itur ad astra, or pursue the stars. 

and damnation, i keep inventing art-forms instead of pursuing something that pays

http://www.pbase.com/wwp

how to live with tilting at windmills

i suppose i could repeat the old saw, 'it's all an illusion.' unfortunately, that's so true it doesn't help. i never like having an answer for everything. this keeps me from adopting any religious dogma, scientific given, or the price of a computer. give me wiggle room, that might be my motto. here's a quote from the former president and founder of modern india, Jawaharlala Nehru,


Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will. 


seems to me that about sums it up. alas, my deck full of gaps. and i keep trying to fill them. for example, yes, i love museums, and i seek them out wherever i go. actually, it's nonsensical. now with this portable light show called ipads and androids, the pictures look better on a screen. still, i remember being stunned by that manet in san francisco and the huge visiting tintoretto. and, okay, i'd like to see a monumental parking garage turned into The Monca Museum. 





this is a battle i was born to lose! what am i to do about my defeat? what is an alternative reality? yes, it's grim, seeing what others don't, fighting for the light. why do i see the benefits so clearly and no one else does? am i halucinating? is fantasy the only life worth living? how can i restore my confidence in my own vision?


alas, i'm not a nuts and bolts person. i put the thought out there, visualized it, talked to the local paper. alas, i don't have the focus and stamina for a protracted battle. too many things interest me. i'd like, for example, to see this game refuge repopulated. at the moment i'm planning on throwing out a lot of food for the birds and rodents. this might bring the tower surroundings up to speed. i miss the eagles and brown bears, the blue grouse and even the laughable tricks of the coyote. without the yellow bellied marmots i'd feel completely abandoned.


i do ask myself all-to-often, what is the meaning of the whole thing? and every time i get a different answer. okay, this time i'll create an imaginary museum and let tomorrow fend for itself:


http://www.pbase.com/wwp/imaginary 

presence and absence: looking at found photographs

the death of a young friend continues to haunt me. sudden, final, an absence of someone you could never imagine dying. she planned, worked, never really taking an incautious step, while being very adventurous and traveling the world. something so simple as pushing a grocery-cart in front of a pickup. here and gone. not for her friends and parents. yet she too will become part of a solid yet vague photographic record.


browsing books of photos found without a name, i feel the opposite of Barthes, who felt all camera results view of death. to me, as i look at them, these people live on. not in my world so much as in their own. every anonymous photograph carries the implication of a story, which i can supply. recently i read

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs  an actual best-seller among the young and old alike. the author wove his story around a collection of pictures, piecing together a memory of what might have happened. 

that's what i find myself doing all the time. yes, certain people make their presence very much felt and their 'absence' echoes in the halls of history. for most of us childhood where we demand the most, of parents, teachers, other kids, and for that reason i find the early days the most dramatic, the most mine, where i controlled the world. unfortunately, gradually, i lost control, as i suppose most of us do. i adapted, scaled down my expectations. and now what? 


everytime i find a photo i've made that i like, a poem of mine that excites me, i wish the world knew them! alas, i do have tons on line. the number of viewers goes up and down like a yo-yo. my blog, for example, 127 hits on a day, whereas it's usually twelve. what happened? my photos, a huge day, 37,000 hits, yesterday 293. the flags and maps show people all over the world wandering in and out,  yet what makes a real 'presence', and how long should it reverberate?


a story of chang-tzu tells of his going to a funeral. people wept all over the place. and chang left, disgusted. "if he'd led a good life, people wouldn't even notice his vanishing.' while chekov said, 'a person without passion, an adventurous spirit, what good has she done?' i admit to being stymied. maybe the best absence i feel when i'm absorbed in a creative task. then i become part of these people in the 'found' photographs, their world, wherever it might be. 


here are selected poems. oddly, i find words last longer than pictures, despite the the caves at lascaux. maybe you'll find something to stick up on your mirror: http://www.pbase.com/wwp/poems2

i'm really not a crusader, but when push comes to shove

last night i couldn't get out of my mind what could be. so i messed around with a picture of the present structure, doomed to be a parking garage and police headquarters, at the cost of $18,000,000. this nutty as anything i can imagine. as a result i've written the following to the local newspaper and the npr station. at least it puts the possibility out there. i don't expect to see it realized in my lifetime. what the hell, at least it's a concept which i hope will grow. 

working on it.

To: contact@monca.org

Sent: Saturday, May 26, 2012 8:07 AM

Subject: [wayne pease smokysun's heaven] what a fantastic modern art museum this 14 million dollar parking garage would make!

hi, I talked to one of your people at the farmer's market and told her my plan. I'm serious, this should happen. below copy of missiles to kcho and the news and review. I would love to see you take up the fight.

best,

wayne pease

Sent: Saturday, May 26, 2012 8:01 AM

Subject: Fw: [wayne pease smokysun's heaven] what a fantastic modern art museum this 14 million dollar parking garage would make!

hi lorraine, I hope you got this and will put it on the docket. I gave it to bob speer a week ago and wrote him the following again this morning. check it out. thanks. you're always a bright presence. wayne

hi bob, just sent jason the stuff below. it would be a great project for our twilight years!
wayne ps. go ahead and use my name and whatever i've written. to hell with it, i won't be around that long.

hi jason, i'm still cooking on this project. played with ideas last night:

www.pbase.com/wwp/museum2

and a friend sent pictures of the museum at ASU in arizona:

http://0.tqn.com/d/phoenix/1/0/C/y/2/asuartmus01.jpg

http://rakstagemom.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/asu-art-museum-from-inner-campus-photo-by-lynn-trimble.jpg

it's not a battle won in the short-run. the external crud they put on will have to be torn off later. but the campaign should begin now. thanks much.

wayne

ps. these are your natural allies: http://monca.org/ among many others.

Victory is won not in miles but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later, win a little more.
~ Louis L'Amour

Sent: Tuesday, May 15, 2012 5:04 AM

Subject: [wayne pease smokysun's heaven] what a fantastic modern art museum this 14 million dollar parking garage would make!

i'm awake at 3:41 in the morning, wanting to cry. my young architect friend, suzanne monaco, killed on the streets of san francisco last week, has me looking at buildings. the edifice going up in the middle of town horrifies me, at least most of the time. yesterday i really looked at where the construction's presently at, and i stood amazed. right at this very moment the cement rising up is magnificent, soon to be covered with kitsch.


you can read all about the plans for the place here: http://www.csuchico.edu/fcp/projects/parking.shtml#

and the justifications for spending the money on a parking garage when the town aching for income. even a blind person could run their hands over this form and realize what a fantastic modern art museum this would make. there are forces in town that could realize this dream. for example, an organization called MONCA, promised prime works by california greats by a local collector,350 of them looking for a home. http://monca.org/


what an honor this institution could be, and a huge draw for the populace. people would come for miles to see the works (and those which would be donated). alas, i know it won't happen and the water running down my face isn't because i'm taking a shower. semi-anonymous forces raise monsters of ingratitude, insults like this present glorious set of ribs and they don't know when to quit, not knowing what they have, what could be. only with a human intervention could the building be saved from transforming. if only the vision weren't missing.


hopefully, i can go back to sleep. like most people i'll learn to live with the monstrosity to come, which will quickly look normal on Normal Street. only the death of a visionary friend makes me temporarily able to see what might have been. i walked around the block, taking pictures and wishing i had the power to change the direction of the state. fat chance. those in charge wish to cut the funds for education to make up for the state short-fall. without an individual taste for mystery, beauties rarely happen, usually only facades of ordinary infamy.


what was that 60's song, i think maybe joni mitchell, about ...they made it into a parking-lot? go look now. it will never look this magnificent again.

http://www.pbase.com/wwp/parking

--
Posted By smokysun to wayne pease smokysun's heaven at 5/15/2012 04:57:00 AM  

have you thought about the legacy you will be leaving!

the sudden death of suzanne monaco on the streets of san francisco (see: in loving memory of suzanne on facebook http://www.facebook.com/groups/311088055635481/  ) has changed my long-held view of dying. always before, i've thought about the pain of the moment, the quick or the drawn-out. that has been my image: cancer and a hospital bed, a fall from a cliff with time to think on the way down. but what if i don't feel a thing? get hit by a truck like suzanne, merely crossing a street? or exiting in my sleep in the midst of a dream? 


what has hit me: we're here and then we're not. you'll be talking with me one minute, the next minute to an empty chair. that's the reality. we exist for ourselves and the world, then we go back to the time before we were born, an open window with a view of clouds.  bit by bit, any memory of me transforms into something else: a word, a drawing, a photograph fading in your hand. and after a generation, forget it, as i've been forgotten.


this has me thinking about projects which fill the vacant space i leave. for example, i'm back at the fire tower in the midst of a game refuge. trouble is, the birds have fled, the coyotes vanished, the bear an orphan, no little cottontails to be seen. compared to 28 years ago, it's a desert without wildlife. hawks don't plunge through the trees, cougars don't leave tracks, and even the vultures have deserted me. 


for all that, i know a bit of the wild world can be restored. thus, i'm trying to drum up interest, asking help from a biologist friend, talking with the district ranger. amazing how much resistance you will meet! i don't mean in these people, rather in general, since few people want to be bothered. no one seems immediately open to the idea of change to change. in other words, most of us would rather shrug our shoulders and exclaim, 'it's inevitable.'


last time i wrote about establishing a museum of modern art in my home town, taking the ribs of a $18 million dollar parking garage and making something significant. at present, this is a fantasy. i've been encouraging friends to take pictures of the structure as it stands now so the kitsch can be ripped off later and it's rightful use be restored. i certainly won't see this in my lifetime! i can put the idea out there, sow a few seeds. 


let's see, the co-housing community where i've lived for nine of the last eleven years going through the throws of re-birth. many of the original people gone, a number of houses up for sale, a large section of the community renting. how to cope with the situation? basically, i've been throwing out easy solutions. i've told them, 'simplify, simply' even though i know this is the last place henry david thoreau would like to live!


i think there's something else. ah, yes, the blue room theatre  http://blueroomtheatre.com/ . a new artistic director has arrived. this summer, he'll be replenishing the coffers with programs for children, at which he is an expert with a track-record. i'm looking forward to taking more pictures. and it would be great if his spirit jived with mine and we did some plays i've written before i kick the bucket. 


being an idea guy and not a handyman, i'm in a better position on top of a mountain to inspire others to put their shoulders to the wheel. and before leaving town i had a great time at the chico observatory watching the annular eclipse through welding goggles which turned everything green: http://www.pbase.com/wwp/solar

oops, i forgot another life-long project: watching over the forest for fifty hears. hmm, that seems to have been all too easy. 

what a fantastic modern art museum this 18 million dollar parking garage would make!

i'm awake at 3:41 in the morning, wanting to cry. my young architect friend, suzanne monaco,  killed on the streets of san francisco last week, has me looking at buildings. the edifice going up in the middle of town horrifies me, at least most of the time. yesterday i really looked at where the construction's presently at, and i stood amazed. right at this very moment the cement rising up is magnificent, soon to be covered with kitsch. 


you can read all about the plans for the place here:  http://www.csuchico.edu/fcp/projects/parking.shtml#

and the justifications for spending the money on a parking garage when the town aching for income. even a blind person could run their hands over this form and realize what a fantastic modern art museum this would make.  there are forces in town that could realize this dream. for example, an organization called MONCA, promised prime works by california greats by a local collector, 350 of them looking for a home. http://monca.org/


what an honor this institution could be, and a huge draw for the populace. people would come for miles to see the works (and those which would be donated). alas, i know it won't happen and the water running down my face isn't because i'm taking a shower. semi-anonymous forces raise monsters of ingratitude, insults like this present  glorious set of ribs and they don't know when to quit, not knowing what they have, what could be. only with a human intervention could the building be saved from transforming. if only the vision weren't missing. 


hopefully, i can go back to sleep. like most people i'll learn to live with the monstrosity to come, which will quickly look normal on Normal Street. only the death of a visionary friend makes me temporarily able to see what might have been. i walked around the block, taking pictures and wishing i had the power to change the direction of the state. fat chance. those in charge wish to cut the funds for education to make up for the state short-fall. without an individual taste for mystery, beauties rarely happen, usually only  facades of ordinary infamy. 


what was that 60's song, i think maybe joni mitchell, about ...they made it into a parking-lot? go look now. it will never look this magnificent again. 

http://www.pbase.com/wwp/parking