finally, today, it hit me: this is the culmination of human civilization. with digital memory banks i have all human knowledge at my fingertips. incredible amounts of information. unfortunately, my brain and body can't take it all in. technology is simply confusing me. the imagination of human beings has created wonders which turn into monsters!
in other words, none of us have the capacity of a library, of an internet, of difficult formulas. i have it all, but simply can't know what i have. true, i try to find simple statements which sum up the situation. "No state of being is static." "Even chaos has a structure." "We used to call this the future." and so on.
in other words, if i can crack the atom, i can release all its energy. and i assume all the knowledge for creating a hydrogen bomb can be found on the internet. i don't think i want to know. and as for the picture above, i'm predicting most people would like to die happy. hence, drugs, opioids, overdoses. i don't know what makes life so difficult. i rather think it's trying to make other people happy. if i could just assume my own authority, as every artist must do.
unfortunately, i would re-create the world in my own image, which is tangled, fluctuating between ecstasy and the void. i would simply make a universe for human beings which already exists. global warming ultimately comes from overheated human brains. i'm bouncing off the wall with everybody else, heated up in a bell jar.
yes, at the very moment i should be able to take pride in this sum of the species' endeavour, i have to admit i've created a power i can't ultimately control. as the ice caps melt and the seas rise, i pilot the minuscule craft of myself across immense and growing waves. if i could only get off the planet, settle another star. even stephen hawking said that my only chance.
ah, well, i suspect i will continue to smoke the vapor of forgetfulness. after all, the problem way too big for me. and if the shit hits the fan fifty years from now, as expected, my mortal remains will have dissolved into the making of new stars. i don't say this with delight. rather, i'd like to give hope, joy, pass you the pipe.
