Friday, January 6, 2012

it's all chance, so you can relax

last time i fell asleep at the wheel, i travelled a two lane road on the way the san francisco. my doze took me across the center-line into the other lane. i snapped awake to see a huge truck coming right at me. swerving back, i missed a sure death by ten seconds. how often has that happened? i don't really know. he said, 'did you see that huge shark near you?' i'd just swum back to shore in a belize blue lagoon. and she said, 'did you see that ufo over your lookout last night?' probably the close calls in the thousands. 

these days i wish for one thing, good luck. that's recognizing the reality of black swans, teleb's unexpected events, what determines the course of history. we invent certain systems to counter-act this great truth. karma, sin, self-confidence, heaven, living in the myth we get what we deserve. hah, whenever has that been true? my sisters received my father's love cause he liked little girls more than boys. of course, my tirades as a result didn't help, yet they came after the fact. nobody really deserves anything. in terms of abstract justice it would be nice. 

take the jugoslavian conflicts. i met a muslim student from belgrade. she'd come to work at a city office one morning and a sign said, 'as of now all of the Mohammedan  conviction don't have a job.' her friends had been of all races and religions, no problem. the dictator tito kept a firm hand. or the example of sadam hussein in iraq comes to mind. despite his tyrannical ways, women had more freedom under him than they ever will again. we invaded in the name of democracy, abandoning them to their own devices after ten years. anyone with half a brain could see the coming civil war before we launched a plane. 

well, i contradicted myself! i'd maintained everything chance, get used to it and relax into uncertainty. and actually, you can forecast the weather and tides a bit, not enough to rely on for a lifetime, still, it's possible to avoid a tornado, sometimes, a heart-attack, an auto-accident. no sense being stupid. to feel you have a right to live while others die, it's only natural, but don't bet on it. 

two words WOUND and VOID showed up prominently at an indian art exhibit this weekend in san francisco. see if you think they tie things together: