in this year of a u.s. presidential election, i struggle with my own convictions, feelings, prejudices like jacob wrestling with the angel. personally, i have a tough time with people who spend their lives accumulating unnecessary luxuries. yet they might be fine citizens, generous donors to important causes, etc. I mean, that's america, everything is left up to the individual. that's why i have the illusion my vote important.
alas, it is significant, to me. i have to live with myself. and like most people, i can't help seeing myself as part of a group, and in an heightened political atmosphere, it's hard not to take sides. and so much of it is irrational. i'll accept any facts as true, if they support my position. specious logic on my side seems like the most obvious truth in the world. doled out by opponents, i find it false, ludicrous, and criminal. same facts, same world, different conclusions. remember, any paradigm can be proven true.
for this reason, the life of human beings, amidst an expanding universe, mysterious. i'd like to believe, for example, science will eventually explain everything, that technology will get the species off the planet and spread around the galaxy, thus avoiding extinction. why should i care, though? i mean, really, i won't see it, unless i can come back as a doctor on a space-ship.
certain people seemed doomed to feel responsibility for the cosmos and their neighborhood. some, like me, must look at the big picture and ask themselves, 'is this a tragedy or a comedy?' life like a drawing you can turn upside down, and instead of a beautiful lady it's an alligator! i'd like to believe i hold the keys to the kingdom. that must be what makes a democracy work (to a certain degree). if i feel i can stand up and shout, rocking the kingdom, i can lie back on my couch and feel completely satisfied.
somewhere i must have written about all this:
http://www.pbase.com/wwp/the_written_word_galleries
