Wednesday, June 13, 2012
it's hard to escape the feeling i'm important, despite my obvious size in the scope of the universe. and celebrities feed into it. a center of energy needed, said my boss years ago. somebody has to organize the party, or nothing happens. those fan magazines energize the reader, the concert the crowd. look at the series on taylor swift, singer, journey toward fearless. i suppose i don't want to feel alone and need someone to speak my thoughts, certainly young teenagers do.
i admit i fell into hell with serge gainsbourg, a wonderful movie on the much-adored french singer and scallywag. yes, i did find it hard to sympathize with the drunk at the end, on the other hand he bedded brigit bardot! what greater role-model can an aging man have? julliete greco, jane birkin, the guy never seemed to stop. skip the concert crowds. they're too greedy and demanding. let's get down to the basics. as serge says, i never had any complaints about my horizontal activity.
what has all this got to do with the good ship mayflower (could a name have ever been more significant)? those on board felt themselves caught up in a universal struggle between good and evil, as did those randy rabble who defeated the british to set up their own house. the treatment of native-americans becomes more understandable, if not more acceptable. they were getting in the way of god, his industrialists and settlers.
the battle between good and evil is within myself, of course, yet what a pleasure to project it onto the world. what a relief to not carry that burden all alone. and every time an actor on the screen or stage overcomes great obstacles, or babe ruth hits a home run, i feel i have too. and when taylor and serge do a duet across time, i experience the exhilaration given to the Argonauts. sail away, sail away, goes the refrain of our true national anthem. and who can blame me if i believe i've reached the promised land - once in awhile?
here's a few drawings called returning to the garden. and maybe now you might understand what i mean: