Saturday, December 25, 2021

Enthusiasms

 



Alas, i'm rummaging around in memory for something to light my fire! I've listed as many as I can remember off the top of my head. Unfortunately,  the one i feel most pleasure from is FINGERPAINTING in the second grade. Doesn't seem a fit occupation for a man of a certain age. 🤔 Looks like I'll have to sit with the record for awhile. Wish me luck.



PICTURE BOOKS

SKATING IN THE WOODS 

MAKING AN IGLOO

FINGERPAINTING (2ND GRADE

WINNIE THE POO

SCOUTS

BASEBALL

PLAYING IN THE SNOW 

KICK THE CAN

POOL

SWIMMING 

GIRLS

WOMEN 

DANCING

MARBLES 

PHOTOGRAPHY 

POETRY 

TRAINS

TRAVEL

ART

THEATER

MOVIES

BUTTONS

BOOKS -READING

STORIES - MINE AND OTHERS

SLEEPING 

WALKING

FRIENDS 

MOUNTAINS

OCEAN -BEACHES

BOATS

TAROT

SHAMANISM

MONEY (TO LIVE)

HEALTH

COVID

MUSIC,  LATELY  COOL JAZZ

DAYDREAMING 

LOOKOUTS 

LEARNING

PHONE! COMPUTER 

INDIA

JAPAN

RUSSIA

XMAS

LAUGHTER (COMEDY)

PAST LIVES 

PSYCHICS 

COUNCILORS 

SUICIDE

WATERCOLOR 

MYSELF!!

DRIVING 

AMERICAN INDIANS 

MUSEUMS

EATING

SEX

ICE CREAM 

BREAD AND CHEESE 

ALCOHOL

Tuesday, December 7, 2021

IF ONLY I HAD A REPUTATION TO RISK

 



Tonight I'm going to risk my reputation as a rational person. I am working out of many past lives. I know this is a theory for most people, but I think for me it's an actual holiday.

The 1st psychic I went to, Gloria Sax, gave me a whole list of past lives. I wrote off a bunch of them. They were the usual kings and queens and all that kind of stuff, but she gave me some very specific ones that have stuck in my mind ever since.

Number one she said I was a scientist on Atlantis who helped develop the power that blew up the island. I had seen many people die. Then, let's see, there was another one. An American Indian one where I was a counselor and chief, a spiritual leader. And after there was a dark one. a kind of evil shaman type and that I had never worked those evil deeds out. And the last one was...

Those may have been the only ones I remember

I thought it had one more but anyway my point is that in this lifetime I have gone through periods of being obsessed with shamanism , with American Indians and and maybe with destruction which would fit with Atlantis and the end of the world kind of feeling, my shadow.

For more recent recent times I really think that my interest in Russia and the revolution probably comes out of a lifetime where I died in that particular revolution. And I don't know if I feel like I'm Jewish now but I have a lot of Jewish friends and our family did visit the concentration camps. I had done research on those. So these are all things that are very familiar for more recent lifetimes.

I'm thinking now , well, maybe I'll get another chance after this once I'm out. I'll come back as quick as I can and get involved in the the results of global warming and all the turmoil, whatever happens. If we have a Virus that kills off almost everybody and I'm left with The Leftovers, very much the theme as in STATION ELEVEN, a novel by Jill St. John.

What I like about this for myself is that I may get another chance. I am living out this lifetime enjoying myself. Gloria said and several more psychics said the same thing: in this lifetime I'm meant to take it easy in the sense of not accepting a lot of responsibility and authority. And it's definitely been the case. I haven't had a family I haven't had to be a father figure and I haven't had a career where I've had to supervise a lot of people, in fact I've hidden out on top of the mountain. The whole thing of looking for fires may come from Atlantis and blowing a place up, a premonition of the future.

I know this sounds kind of nutty. I don't pretend to be any kind of Indian Hindu guru type. I Like the literature but the the numerology and all that kind of stuff doesn't appeal to me, though it might come in handy building destructive weapons.

What am I saying tonight? I'm saying that there's probably no reason I should be depressed. It's true I have had a lot of depressing experiences both in past lifetimes and this lifetime.

But if I get another chance then there's no worries, there's no sense it's over, that I can't do anything, that I can't rectify my mistakes in this lifetime.

I don't have any real conclusions to make as far as other people go. I can only say that this feels right for me. I can justify my feelings through my experiences, my interests, and my travels. Being born into a religious family might be also part of this in order to have that extra dimension, which everybody's looking for and which everybody finds in other ways. Past lives are not in the stars or the Accepted standard of the moment.