Sunday, June 19, 2016
and, damn, i keep forgetting this. my life a series of trance states, some of which i cause, others created by outside forces. a common example for anyone who's driven a car any distance. me, i go off into the ozone, not aware of where i am, only the conversation in my head. two hundred miles later, i wake up and wonder how i got here.
a therapist could be called a 'trance-breaker', disrupting the normal circle of my thoughts, those which, in this case, make me depressed. he/she creates a new dialogue, leading me up a different garden path. self-hynosis accounts for most of my states of being, trances into which i put myself by repeating a text i've fallen victim to. theoretically, meditation could pull me out of this, just as the counselor does.
or art. i need art to keep me back from the abyss, to save me from the overwhelming stimulae thrown at me by billboards, television sets, barkers at fairs, comedians, cartoonists, constantly telling me what to buy and what to think. Hitler said, "If you tell a big lie long enough, people will come to believe it." this is the art of politics. put the audience in a mass trance. a stage hypnotist always amazes me by how easy this is.
a play or movie works on me until, toward the end, i fall completely into a trance. and if it's positive one, i come out of the theater refreshed. poetry and paintings actually work best for me, under my control at any time. a poem sets up a certain rhythm, and bingo! i escape my own infernal, internal rhythms to experience those of the universe.
more often than not, however, i let my moods slip into oblivion. when that happens, it becomes difficult to take action, action the only cure, even if it's merely taking a walk in the woods or opening a book. and my god, how seductive politics can be. on a hike, especially going uphill, if i start brooding on the politcal situation, i can ascend a mountain without a loss of breath. yes, i am trying to solve the problems of the world. it overcomes smaller things like the need to get home.
and to watch folks at a political rally, where they've fallen under the seductive phrases of a politician, i can see the trance in their eyes. and the better the speaker the more people he/she can hypnotize. luckily , for me, most of the would-be demagogues break the spell as they go, losing ground, having to start the procedure anew.
alas, this seems so easy to see, yet difficult to escape. i have to shake myself, quote shakespeare, go to a museum. culture saves me from the ills of the world and repetitive formulas of my own mind. if i were an athlete it might be helpful. the greatest of them know how to put themselves in an altered stat of consciousness in order to leap over the bar. laziness, my weakest point. how i hate exercise!
and i haven't even gotten to love, the glow erasing pimples, forgiving crossed-eyes, and taking me to places i really shouldn't be going. no wonder i can't prolong love to the edge of doom. waking up, what the sages and gurus all want from me. yet i fall from one dream into another. yes, trance protects me from reality, even in solitary confinement.