Saturday, August 22, 2009


do people really have their pictures posted, them standing next to jaguars they don't own and swimming pools they actually clean, in order to impress? i guess it is that easy. how do you separate the fakes and forgers from the true? maybe you can't. love's a desperate game of need vs. fantasy.

lately, i've been watching a lot of romantic comedies: notting hill, kiss the bride, love actually, about a boy, runaway bride, and so on. a happy ending makes me feel good, yet i'm suspicious. do people only really change in the movies?

for that's what it takes. the busy, the self-obsessed, the high-roller, they need to be hypnotized by a man or woman who takes both their breath away and their self-assurance. resistance, that's what it's all about, resistance overcome. and maybe memory, a memory of childhood when love actually existed.

i do like movies about france and ending up on a vineyard in the south. no, i have no desire to get my hands dirty. alas, french kiss and a very good year make me wish i could be a wine baron with the beauty of my life! (for friends who've actually done a great winery, california style, check out ) i suppose it's the weather and romance that give flavor to it all.

trouble is, you do have to make room for another person. live alone too long and you fill up all the spaces, no room at the table or in the bed. and those who use dating services often those with no time, who'd simply like to add a little spice to their life. i learned that when a roommate years ago started such a service in chico. helping to review the forms and match people up, i soon discovered the unavoidable fact: people who can actually (financially) afford ecstasy, prefer to keep their lives comfortable and normal, and not rock the boat with anything more than sex!

yes, movies like something new give me the hope i may one day open up, make a space for the other, if not in this lifetime, then the next.

obviously, i'm too obsessed with making photographs. perhaps we can only have one real passion at a time. in the past the spark always ignited when i wasn't writing. maybe my imagination must go blank before reality can stir it up. here are the latest pictures: