Friday, June 4, 2010

at 5 you're doing what you want to do

i encourage everyone to find out what they were doing at five years old. this is before the pressure of parents and teachers put on the screws to channel your energy. ask anyone who might remember for you, especially family.

for example, at five i ran thru the woods, put on one-person shows for the neighborhood, cut and pasted and finger-painted, reading picture books constantly. i'm happiest when doing these things. my passion must lie here, for i've never been able to pay attention to another person for very long, except by falling madly in love and wearing all the possibilities out.

on a bus santa cruz i asked my neighbor what he'd done at that age. he said his mother found him in a dark closet looking for god. in a few minutes he'd be dropping off at a monastery devoted to silence. i wondered what he'd gone through. frankly, about thirty, he looked like an hispanic adonis, unbelievably handsome. wish i could have taken his looks and he mine off to his endless retreat.

other people have said things like 'making up and singing songs,' 'building miniature cities,' 'drawing pictures of dragons.' the list is long.

of course, it often takes a bit more interpretation. maybe building little towns means 'i like constructing stories.' or drawing dragons could signify the desire to slay them, creating a better world. however, i firmly believe you'll find the key to your life this way.

ah, and yes, i loved circuses and festivals, my first five-year-old piece of art a train engine made of red dots from punch-holes, displayed at a montana county fair. ask, and you shall discover what you did naturally to make yourself happy before the world said, 'be practical.'

here are some county fair pictures from last weekend. enjoy my constant return to childhood.