Thursday, March 3, 2011

blaming teachers for puberty

yes, yes, if they had just taught me right i'd be a millionaire now. nor would i have been so embarrassed on my first dates i couldn't even talk to a girl much less charm and kiss her. (that only happened through a game of spin-the-bottle.) thank god, my fellow students were so nice to me. they chased me in gangs after school and beat me up on the playground. those where the real lessons learned.

i remember when the class bully started pounding me in the hall before homeroom. where was the teacher when i needed her? and as for educating me, damn, i learned to add up my expenses and write checks. i learned to read those boring great books of literature. they alone kept me from getting to the top by presenting examples of folly and fame i couldn't emulate.

and the cadillacs and mercedes the professors drive, not to mention their maids and butlers. when they climb out of their limousines in front of the little brick schoolhouse, i become green with envy. even before i paid taxes i hated paying taxes. how dare these people take my nickels and dimes. shouldn't they be doing something useful, like digging ditches?

and look at how happy and free those poverty-stricken, uneducated societies are, drinking and dancing and playing music just like the slaves on the old plantations before the south went to wrack and ruin. yes, yes, the intelligent people without schools rise like scum to the top. we don't need police either, or politicians. why don't we all drive on any side of the road we want and make u-turns on a whim?

obviously, infants out think adults. and the worst educated society will do all the important work of the wealthy countries like washing clothes and cleaning floors. why don't we just go back to the good old days before computers which merely confuse us with their demands? after all, THE ENLIGHTENED CULTURE GETS THE WORM. and those with the best schools merely spend summers at the beach and eat beluga.

shoving us all into the trenches to turn us into americans, they should be ashamed.

here's one account of a terrible experience with the school system: