Saturday, December 3, 2011

all our troubles come from possessiveness

especially in matters of the heart. if the woman i'm with smiles at another man, i'm suddenly in baudelaire's hell. look at all the soap operas. doesn't take much to set off disaster, even the hint of infidelity. being that insecure in my own powers, i certainly wouldn't make a safe mate for life. the oedipal complex struck me deep and hard, sleeping plagued by dreams of the lover i desire going off with another man. 

actually, i find it a matter of identity and power. with the arrival of private property, inheritance, etc. our survival depended on protecting our domain. and our individuality expressed in what we own, especially 'our' children. true, this creates us. if you've your own room, you become a dreamer, a person who exists independently of other people. no wonder we're tormented by our imagination!

in terms of trying to find an individual destiny without being banished from the crowd, this is my favorite example:

it cracks me up. by the end they look like a pack of nazi stormtroopers. not that i don't feel nostalgic for adolescence. i'd like to buy a motorcycle and immediately spend even more money than the asking price to deck it out and reveal it as 'mine.' the rallies all about show and tell, me, my and mine. 

tattoos the same way. i've thought about getting one so my body can be identified. see, i even want to own this dissolving animal! everybody in town has a tattoo, i suspect. the parlors invaded years ago and there must be at least ten of them: lucky's, jade eye, the sacred cross. join the club, but be obviously yourself. 

alas, if we lose our favorite spoon, what sorrow. yet letting it go, we become truly free, though it stolen off a japan airlines flight and brought back exciting memories of the past, 'our' past. maybe that's why i like museums, the feeling all of us can enjoy a painting, it not hidden away in a private vault. here are some examples from my last trip to san francisco:

pictures from an exhibition: