Tuesday, January 10, 2012

everything we do changes our future

i devised this disturbing insight to keep myself from being annoyed. now, when my coat catches on a railing or a hat falls out of the door of my truck and i have to bend over, i tell myself, 'ah, that saved me from being hit by a bus in six months.' in worldly terms it's called the butterfly effect or why we can't predict the weather. say an insect falls from a tree along the amazon. eventually, a tidal wave sweeps japan as a result. 

this theorem can prove very useful and the results immediate. i've found when my thoughts swing into the negative realm, all i have to do is tap the top of my head three times. this immediately shakes up my automatic patterns. they take another track and i'm saved from personal mortification. the method deceptively simple, yet we pay a psychiatrist thousand of dollars to shift us out of circular thought where A always leads to B. that's all i do when i surreptitiously give myself a minor concussion. 

theoretically, if i'm unhappy with my present view of what's to come, i could stand up, run around my chair three times, and sit down, having altered my world. in public this might look a bit insane. so be it. my survival more important than the impressions of others. and if this gives me a certain control over my destiny, why not? could i plot my actions on a graph and find out how they're ruled by fractals, i might actually turn this sop of a guy into a real man. here's hoping. i vow not to step on any more cracks in the sidewalk. we'll see what happens. 

desperate for subject matter, i drove to a neighboring town, marysville. once a thriving crossroads, it's become a city of holes, empty stores and lots. they tried urban renewal. i don't know why it  failed. http://www.pbase.com/wwp/mary