Sunday, March 25, 2012

on being an intermittent health fanatic

yes, on again, off again. for example, two people persuaded me to be a vegetarian. one a doctor in pollock pines, california. he showed me pictures of the esophagus and insisted it proved humans not meant to eat meat. the other fellow an actor in new york. i'd seen him perform off-broadway and one night found myself sitting next to him at the theater. he radiated health and youth. my god, turned out he's forty-five. i asked him his secret. you guessed it, lay off the animal products. 

which i did for thirty-two years, until i had an asthma attack. where i live the respiratory disease capital of the world, yet i'd had no problem in twenty-six years, dropping dairy and wheat whenever i felt a twinge of the local allergies. ach, suddenly, after eating three pieces of cheese one spring afternoon, i gasped for air. terrified, i convinced myself i could die at any moment. eventually, no collapsed lung or other devastating physical disability, the doctors figured out what it was. luckily, the vitamin expert at the produce market said you have to learn to breathe again. 

what a concept! my doctor suggested something very simple, breathe out and relax when you choke up. yes, i had been trying to take a breath after a sip of water. ever notice how you breathe out, as a natural matter of course. fear had me trying to do the opposite. i visited an eighty-two year old chiropractor in amazing health. she believed in eat right for your blood type. as an O positive i required meat. now i only tend to believe people who practice what they teach, who inspire by example. what fun to have a hamburger after three decades!

right or wrong, i do eat a bit of meat. buffalo feels healthy, beef doesn't. and the journalists keep repeating, the latest evidence, red meat causes cancer, heart-attacks, obesity. this week i watched fat, sick and nearly dead. the over-weight australian travels the usa with a juicer, talking with infamous americans over three hundred pounds. on his fast he loses over a hundred pounds and finds freedom from powerful prescription drugs for the first time in ten years. i immediately browsed the stores in town and bought a jack lalane machine. 

with another birthday coming up and younger people dropping dead all over the place, i'd like to reduce my girth. disguising it with loose shirts, i can't avoid my protruding stomach in the morning's mirror. in a few minutes i'll have my first taste of inebriating grass. stay posted.

following the advice of leonardo davinci, i keep finding figures in carpet stains and landscape photos. we really do live in a mythical world. i've entered a king arthur series in a photo contest. be sure and read the captions. it's definitely not what they're looking for! well, why not?

Jack Lalane: