Friday, June 28, 2013

it takes a lifetime to write your obituary

my friend jeff asked me if i had any tips on his writing his own obituary. i immediately ordered three books sent to him, a cross-section from london and new york. and i've got two others for myself. writing your own obituary is not as easy as you think. i've tried it a couple of times. complete failure. all i can do is goof around:

      "It's very hard to be honest about yourself and probably not necessary...."

     "From now on, your only guardian is a neglected future."  
                                                                                                            (Mahmoud Darwish)

      "I decided to steal her shadow and replace my own with it."

      "Being remembered isn't the same as being alive."

       "Looking back, as I leave my body...."

        "I can't believe how much money I've spent on books."

         "Though born of a minister, Wayne overcame these scruples at an early 

i mean, how does it all add up? i've hidden a lot of my life, flying below the radar. i value my sense of humor most, but it's very, very sick! and i keep thinking, okay, i encouraged independence in individuals. what a terrible mistake. only kids who follow the path their parents set out for them have a decent life: family, cars, jobs. pushing rebellion onto the unprepared definitely a mistake and a no-no. 

hmm, i used to place great emphasis on my travels, 40 countries and so on. alas, anybody who can buy and plane-ticket and backpack can do the same. and as for romance, i thought i'd succeeded in this department without leaving any illegitimate children. the latter fact may or may not be true. i keep waiting. unfortunately, i now give myself a two on a scale of ten. why was i in such a hurry?

hey, there's an idea. he lived life like it was a marathon. not bad, too honest, but not bad. 

         "Unfortunately, he was short-winded."

          "The race goes to those who play it safe, and needless to say..."

           "He always wanted to get it overwith."

            "Everytime he got to the top, he found a higher mountain ahead of him."

             "He lived for art and poetry and hoped he had a bit of talent. Little did 
                    did he know, like all young people he underestimated the 

well, this is certainly fruitless! maybe if i finish it, i'll die. no sense tempting fate.  humbling, humbling: maybe i should be worried about what others say of me? now there's a disparaging thought.

did i end up making momento mori last nite: