Wednesday, January 20, 2016

the big questions driving me crazy

i try to stick to small things, like how to find my keys, what do i need for lunch, do i really have to do the laundry today? questions i can answer and act upon or not. avoiding solving the problems of the world or even the nation, absolutely essential for peace of mind. ALAS, IT'S PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION YEAR. somewhere in my body certain survival chromosomes activated.

the task of the individual to make it through life in the best way possible. a thankless task, since i know where it all ends. i do my best to avoid this last fact. maybe that's why politics takes over my brain, to help me forget the fragility of the situation. thinking about rights and wrongs, i can charge uphill like a bull, not even realizing my walk nearly over. 

energy, i guess i love the jolt of anxiety and the desire to complete the great work, saving humanity and the world. luckily, there's a presidential candidate raising serious answers to definite problems: immigration and terrorism, christianity versus the pagan faiths, huge battles rising on the horizon. obviously he and his followers energized by the approach of the Armageddon. why not? a recent president made pretty good hay of that. 

so, the answers are: build a wall on the mexican border, deport all illegal immigrants, and don't let any muslims into the country. and i find myself asking how these will be achieved and the cost. for example, how high does the wall have to be (3600 miles of it) and what made to be effective? who will build it? how long will it take? what will be the cost? i know i'm wrong to be obsessed with practicalities. i can't help it. it's my nature. 

as for banning muslims, how does this affect trade with the middle east, oil for example, are all importations of it banned? do alliances with all muslim nations cease? does this mean they can't attend the united nations? must all their radio and tv stations be jammed? and what about the millions of muslims already in the united states, including black muslims, will relatives be allowed to visit? will anyone not christian have to wear an identification mark? 

i know, i know, why do i bother about problems i see but can't solve? do i really have any answers? i'm considering how the deportation of four and a half million people be managed? how many new police will be required? do camps have to be built for them? where will they be deported to? which states have they most and how will they fair with the loss of labor? and again, that necessary question: how much will it cost? 

unfortunately, all i can do is ask questions. it keeps my days full, my mind off personal mortality, a particular obsession of mine. politics a perfect solution to metaphysical and moral thinking. it does make me nervous, i admit that. and i do feel fear. of what, i'm not exactly sure. after all, i won't be around long, no matter what happens. yes, the big questions like who will rule the world make it possible for me to do my laundry without thinking about it. and i hate going to the laundromat, down with unconcerned and uniformed.